ok i left off at the rape...after that i started hitting the spanish bars alot!!! i would get up in the morning and spend all day there until they closed...i drank at least 6 days aweek and was smoking meth alot....its amazing that i never got a DUI i would buy a case of beer to drink in between bars...my friend and i went home with whoever we hooked up with at night...looking back i cant believe some of the choices i made amazing ........this continued until i was about 24 one night in a mexican bar i met a man named Ramon...he didn't really drink alot but was there with his friends..he kept calling me and calling me and eventually i went out with him...he was a sweet heart..he treated me well (at first) and when i was with him i didn't drink i used a little but had slowed down alot...he asked me to marry him within 6 weeks of knowing him and of course i said yes i was practically living with him anyway...we lived with 8 of his cousins (all men) ....we were married in 1993, we were married at the courthouse i invited my parents but of course they didnt' show they didn't believe i was getting married ( well i had a tendency to lie when it suited me) so i got married with only one person there and she was just a friend she was not related to me or anything her name was wynona.... wynona and i drank together and used together although her husband hated me i would sneak to her house and get her high..she had alot of chronic pain in her neck from bone spurs....anyway ramon and i married and i quit drinking and was using only on weekends i had him try meth and he liked it we did it regularly on weekends ....i did some care providing jobs and he worked at a manufacture company...our weekends always consisted of getting high and staying up all weekend...but come monday and we would stop....this lasted for about a year and a half....about that time he became controlling and abusive he would want to know who i talked to during the day, when my mom would call he demanded to know what we talked about....he would get mad and hit me alot so much that our neighbors would come and make him stop or call the police...i found a job in the paper where it was a live in position taking care of an elderly woman...so we moved in with her and he continued to work while he was at work i would find ways to get drugs...i was secretly using everyday....all day long while taking care of this lady....our fighting got out of hand and i told him he had to move out...i stayed on with this lady for another 3months then my addiction got the best of me....i met a girl who talked me into stealing from this woman and selling some of her things to get dope....today i regret the things i did and took i wish i could go back and change things....Ramon and i stayed married but lived seperately for the next 7 yrs....he moved on to new women and although it took another relationship and a few years i moved on to iv drug use.....i will explain how that happend in my next post....