What i failed to tell you was in the last 3months that ramon and i lived together i started seeing someone else..his name was martin....he was a full blown alcoholic and addict...but i thought i was soo in love with him, after Ramon moved out i ended up quitting my job and moving in with him and like 8 of his cousins we constantly used and he drank all the time..talk about dysfunction on my birthday once before i moved in with him he left me sitting in my car in his front yard and went and spent the night with another girl ..but mind you i was in love...blahhhh.....
there were several of these occurrences in our relationship he cheated and always treated me like i was a pet dog but he paid for my drugs so i stayed ....one in paticular instance was he was supposed to come pick me up at my moms one day so we could drive into the mountains ...(mind you we spent the night at the river getting wasted)..well he dropped me off and was supposed to return and when he didn't i got angry and found a ride to his house he wasn't home of course so a friend of his and i went to a drug dealers house and preceeded to party it up...I just happend to call home and my mother told me someone was trying to get a hold of me so i called the girl back and she told me that martin had just been stabbed and was in the hospital...i called the hospital and they couldn't tell me anything ecxept he was in surgery,,,, being the idiot that i am i rushed to the hospital and found out that he had been at his ex girlfriends and her live in boyfriend came home and caught him and stabbed him repeatedly with a double bladed dagger well needless to say he almost died he had 6 wounds one in his kidney one in his liver and his lung ...when he came out of surgery he cried and told me he loved me and wanted me to stay by his side..(of course he did he had no one else ) and dummy me was there with him through his recuperation and all...of course i was using the whole time...all we knew was smoking meth and that is what we did together all the time.....i lived with him for a year and a half when he wouldn't give me money to buy drugs i stole from whoever i could including his cousins and our neighbors,, i alway managed to have dope... if i didn't look out i would be on the war path and not thinking straight...this was between 1998 and 2000.. in 2000 i was arrested for forgery and was sent to prison for 6 months..i did what they called a rider a little bit of rehab while you serve time...i was released and the same day i was high again i moved back in with martin and continued to use even tho i was on probation i never once peed clean i was always dirty......in 2001 i was rearrseted on a violation and when they picked me up i had a whole lot of meth on me hence i got a new charge of possesion... the judge was leinient with me and gave me a year in the county jail.........during my stay there (if you remember winona she was the only friend at my wedding to ramon ) well she took a sawed off shotgun and shot herself in the head i was so hurt she was a very good friend of mine for a long time and that was tough to be locked up at a time like that.......the next part of my story is very hard for me to tell so i am going to stop for now but i will continue it in a day or two....