I left off where i had my first son and put him up for adoption....after that i was using crank and alcohol regularly..like everyday i would snort a line in the morining and kept snorting it all day ...i was hangin in the bars at 18 yrs old (no one ever carded me) ...i was kicked out of my apartment with jo and moved back into my parents house this became a regular option for me as i was in and out until i was about 33....no matter what i did they always let me come back home ok on with my story...when i was 19..Our town had a county fair every year...i went and met a man who worked a carnival ride there his name was richard..i really thought he was great i saw him the whole week they were in town and when they left town i fallowed. I got a job with the carnival and lived in a truck for a whole summer with him..he treated me horrible and would always be with other girls yet because of my low self esteem and thinking i was in love with him i stayed...i got pregnant again during that summer and when the season was done he came back to idaho with me...we never married but i took his last name in front of a noterary (at this time idaho recognized common law)...i gave birth to a beautiful baby boy..named him josh..i had stopped drinking and useing while i was with richard i was clean and sober for 2 yrs...one day my best friend and her 2 yr old daughter needed a place to stay so we let them stay with us...well she and i went to the store and left Richard with the kids. and when we came home he was giving the little girl a "bath" we thought nothing of it until she told her mom that night that her bum hurt...I was shocked, hurt,scared and couldn't believe that he would do anything like that....mind you we fought alot while we married and he hit me alot i dont know why i had a hard time believeing he could touch her....anyway so my friend had the police investigate and they didn't have enough evidence to prove anything so what did i do??? well like an idiot i stood beside him and lost my best friend...her boyfriend caused richard so much trouble at his job and our home that we left the state and moved to arizona with his father...where once again i got pregnant..so josh was barely 4 months old when i got pregnant with ashly...